Thursday, December 20, 2012
more of my book, scroll on down for more and also my video blogs
I read somewhere that ancient people kept Chihuahuas because they were thought to ward off evil spirits. Having become intimately acquainted with several of these little dogs, I can understand that.
Because I work from home, when my clients come for a psychic reading, they first have to pass through “the Chihuahua gauntlet” that consists of three Chihuahuas known as Evil, Rude, and Indifferent. While “the children”, as they are more affectionately known, may appear to be barking and raising a ruckus with nothing more in mind than creating a row, they are actually performing their secret mission of clearing away any unwelcome demons that may be lurking in the heel of a shoe.
The worst of the lot is Evil Wren. Weighing in at an obese nine pounds of terror, she has also been known as “the beast.” She views most humans with a mixture of suspicion and contempt. She is missing some teeth. No doubt, they are lodged in someone’s pant leg. The trouble with Wren is that she lies. She will pretend she would like to be petted, then will attempt to remove a finger, all the while laughing heartily inside at her little game. I have tried unsuccessfully to explain to Wren the folly of her aggressions, but to no avail. I have to say, she has provided some light entertainment for my family, but my clients may disagree.
For example, one unsuspecting visitor walked up the driveway unaware that the beast had escaped the gated porch. Wren began her assault on the lady by simply barking at her shoe. This started a little dance known as high-stepping that was performed quite energetically by both lady and dog. This quickly led to pant-leg-nipping, which escalated into a full-blown chase around the parked cars. The unfortunate lady escaped by jumping in to my car, not realizing that Wren considered the car to be her second home. Wren was so offended by this that she stomped and huffed and seemed so genuinely confused that she muttered curses and epithets for hours.
Wren enjoyed teaching the high-step so much that she tried to teach another visitor to tap dance at the front door. This poor woman had the misfortune to be wearing sandals. Wren took advantage of the situation, and to help her find her rhythm, artistically arranging little nips randomly around the lady’s feet. However, her victim, a local attorney, was able to out-boogie the beast and escape serious injury. I tried to explain to the evil one that it is best NOT to bite those who know how to sue us.
Pets, like the people in our lives, serve to reflect us, and by doing so they assist us in our life’s journey. They also serve us by becoming our teachers and our friends. They provide unconditional love and through that, help us to learn how to love in return.
Sometimes, the most valuable thing they do is to provide us with simple joy.
Tony and I often took walks late on summer nights to enjoy the cool relief of the evening and to have the road in our neighborhood all to ourselves. We would take our little daughter Jayme, who was less than two at the time, with us as well. Often Trixie, our gray kitty, accompanied us. Trixie did not want us to know that she was walking with us and would pretend that she just happened to be walking along in the same direction. If we turned to speak to her, she would dart behind a tree, pretend to smell a plant, or suddenly remember she needed a tongue bath. She certainly would not admit to anything as mundane as taking a walk with the family.
One evening, we were out particularly late. In fact, it was around midnight. The day had been dreadfully hot and the dark night sky became punctuated by heat lightning. The lightning became so intense that many of the streetlights went out, and we were left in almost total darkness. Because of this, and because we were so tired, Tony decided to walk ahead, get the car, and drive us back home.
My daughter and I continued walking. I felt grateful that we had not seen anyone out that night as I was wearing shorts that I felt were a little too short to be out in public. Oh, they were fine to run around the house, but I would not want to be seen by anyone my grandparents’ age. Soon, the walk seemed too long for Jayme, so I scooped her up and carried her. Trixie had tired of our company and had gone off on her own adventure.
As we turned into the road that our house was on, I realized we were not alone on that corner. Through the shrubs lining the yard, I saw an elderly lady with gray-blue hair and elegant eyeglasses sitting at a table in the garden watching us. She seemed to be just as startled to see us, as I was to see her. By her expression, I gathered that she was somewhat appalled to see us as well, and my first thought was, “I should not have worn these shorts in public.” I intended to say as such and began to speak, “Oh, Lord, I didn’t expect…”
That is as far as I got. The woman in the chair totally vanished. I can still see her look of surprise mixed with disapproval as she utterly faded from view. Until then, I had wished that my daughter would walk, but at that point, I was so grateful to have her in my arms. I continued to walk on by the garden and quickened my steps toward home. Fortunately, my husband picked us up almost immediately, sparing me the need to continue with the heart attack that my body was attempting to have.
The next day a neighbor from across the street came over to visit, and I asked him if anyone had died on our street lately. He said that in fact his aunt had passed away only three days earlier. He told me that she had lived in the house at the corner of our street. When I asked about her appearance, he said she had blue hair and bejeweled eyeglasses.
I believe that that lady was enjoying her garden one last time that evening. I am sorry to have disturbed her. On a final note, I never wore those shorts in public again.